Empty words

I am happy within myself, with where I am in my life with my daughter, the changes to come soon with the new addition to our family, with work. So why have I just wiped a tear away from running down my cheek?

I hit play on the youtube video and half way through realised that a hot Tom Cruise was cuddling up with some lass. So what? I don’t need a man! I am much happier without the chaos and uncertainty they bring with them.

Though when I look deep inside, I see the girl that just wants a hug and to be told that everything’s ok. That they will be there for me, do anything for me and keep me safe from the world. Neither of the men who uttered those words to me actually did what they said. One of them was so hapless that he just didn’t have it in him to do what was needed to stay in a married relationship. The other one was just a mess and in no fit state to be in any kind of relationship.

I don’t half know how to pick them do I? Though wait a minute, I didn’t pick them! They came in to my life and fed me with all these empty words. The sad thing is that they meant them as they came out of their mouths, they just weren’t ever going to be put in to action.

I’m not looking for a man just now. I need to concentrate on us. Its been a while since I’ve been caught out by this sad feeling of being alone. Making all the decisions, dealing with everything myself, can be difficult. The thing is that really, I’ve always been the one that’s had to do these things. It’s the fantasy of having a decent man by my side, the dream I had when I fell in love and got married.

Who knows who I’ll meet in the future? Who’s path I’ll wander across? Until then I am going to enjoy what I have.  I’m still young and have plenty of time for all that.

I have added a video  that was recently ‘given’ to me by my hapless ex husband. The sweetest words he has ever uttered to me, though they were too late. His words were always empty, they never lead to action and I have to remember that and not get swept away by words alone anymore.

If you’re curious about what the words mean there is a translation here

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Comments
2 Responses to “Empty words”
  1. I can imagine that it is really hard to be alone sometimes but I think it is better to be alone then in a relationship that is missing something. I think as long as you are happy with yourself and your life then one day the right man will walk into it. Thanks for linking up to Love All Blogs, Jess x

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